Saturday, March 6, 2010

more answers.



1) I can relate to you and how much you LOVE your Little Yellow cottage. With each welcomed child, do the walls get closer? Do you see yourself moving in the future? Or does the love for your home keep that thought off your brain? Will an extension be added?

I do have those days where I feel claustrophobic. We bought our home because it had a huge {to us} back yard and because it had the room for a potential addition somewhere in the future. The lot sizes in our area can be quite small with postage stamp-sized back yards. We knew we'd need some room for our kids and all the stuff they would have, so when we came to the open house for our current home, we knew it would be a blessing to us. Besides having 2 fruit bearing avocado trees, the yard is enclosed with six to eight foot cinder block walls. We feel like the kids are very safe there, along with the fact that our two dogs would bark if anything out of the ordinary occurred.
As far as the actual size of our house is concerned-- it's so small, I don't want to say. We did convert our garage into a large bedroom for four of the kids and they love it. My husband did it right and we even put down carpet, so you would never even know you were in the "garage". Obviously,we are praying for God to move in the area of finances for an addition. It is something we've been long considering and we have drawn up some rough plans for a long-term two-phase addition process. Although I want it done now, I know that in the right time, it'll happen.
Until then, I truly love my home no matter how small it is. And when I complain about having to scrub and really clean, my husband reminds me what it would be like if my house was bigger. At one time in our marriage, we started to look into bigger homes to buy but kept coming back to the one thing--we really love our house. With us being in ministry, we know that God could call us to move at any given moment to pioneer or take over a church within our fellowship in a different city... and that scares me. But until then, I'm happy right where God has me. I mean, really happy.

2) Oh and I do have a question regarding your first born. You mentioned at one time he was born before you married your husband. Do you have to share custody of him and how does he feel about being away from his other brother and sisters? Does he consider your husband dad?

My firstborn was conceived before I got saved. In fact, I was pregnant and hadn't known it yet when I gave my life to Jesus. I really feel that God was part of everything that led up to my salvation. I was always in his hands even when I was not aware of it.
Custody issue: Several weeks into my pregnancy, some things
transpired between the biological and me, and since that time we have had no further contact. At first I was upset and saddened to be having a baby {at 25/26} with no Dad, but God had better and bigger plans. The bio-father was not someone who wanted to or ever could be a Dad because of his own personal issues. Some of those issues are not even fully known to me, but I do believe that many men are not taught to take care of their responsibilities and this incorrect thinking is solidified by a current culture which teaches that fathers are not important. This stands in direct opposition to what the Bible teaches and who God the Father really is. I would dare to say that a man cannot truly be the father {or husband} God wants him to be until he has Jesus in his life.
The redemptive part of the story began when my husband heard from God about marrying me and immediately started trying to "accidentally" bump into me at church. Shortly after we were engaged {after only about a month of courting}, he started the process of adopting Parker, who was about 22 months old at the time. It wasn't long after we were married that the process was finalized and Parker became legally his. My husband's name is actually on his birth certificate as the father which is called "legal fiction". From the perspective of the court, visitation and custody rights, there is no other father; my husband is his Dad and this is very much like the Biblical concept of spiritual adoption. We were once sons and daughters of sin and of the world, but through the remarkable opportunity that Jesus made for us, we too can be accepted and adopted into the family of God as His own real children.
I can honestly say I forget that Parker is not biologically his. That is how much Parker IS his son. We do not look, act or seem like a family that has this kind of beginning because there is so much love and God in our lives. I am blessed that there are no ties to the past and obviously, God had a lot to do with this. With grace, love and God's guidance, my husband has slowly brought this history to our son's attention over time. And Parker has slowly received it knowing that God picked who He wanted to be his Daddy, and that he {my husband} WANTED to be his Daddy. As for other siblings... he currently has six. He has only one family and one Dad. And that is our testimony in a nutshell.


3) Do you buy complete curriculums from abeka or pick and choose- I know they can be pricey?


It is a little bit expensive, but it's far cheaper than sending them all to a private school, and public school is obviously not an option. Although it might be nice and cheaper to create my own-- I'm just far too busy and the time I spend doing that would detract from all the other things that barely get done when you've got a large household and school to manage. So my husband bites the bullet and we buy the whole kit-- Unless there are items we already have from previous grade levels.

4) Oh where, does Ruby get her bright red hair from?

I was told a couple can only have a red headed baby if there is red on both sides. And for us, there is, in fact, red on both sides. I was born with very red hair and so were Sophia and Charlie.

5) Question...is there any sling/wrap (if you used them) you loved/hated??

I have only bought the Maya Wrap and the Ergo.
I love the Maya! The Ergo isn't loved by Ruby very much. She does not like that she has to
spread her legs to sit in it on the front. She would like to be swaddled still. The Ergo is comfortable to me, but not to Ruby or my husband either.

6) Pregnant?

Yes. With number 8. OH MY!.......I"M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER BABY!!!!!!!!!
I was a little worried when I bought the pregnancy tests that I would be disappointed {a negative result}. The truth is: I love being pregnant, giving birth and allowing God to bless me with another precious gift. I suppose that in some way you could argue that it's selfish since I derive great satisfaction from it, but the truth is that with each successive child, a little more of me dies only to be replaced by more of God. I am less selfish, and more giving, less uptight and more patient, more loving and on and on. Only through the blessing of having children did God begin to work these things in me.
Actually, one of the tests did show negative {probably because I took it too early} and I was a little sad, but never mentioned it to my husband. Don't get me wrong-- I AM BLESSED with 7 incredible children, and if I never had another one, I would still know that God has blessed me tremendously. But even after #8 arrives, I'd still love to have more, God willing.
Yes, you read that right.

----I think that does it. Thank you for stretching me with your questions. I loved having my brain picked and making me really sit down to reflect on who I am and why I do the things I do. The most asked question I hear around town is: "How do you do what you do?" If the truth be told, I don't think I'm this wonderful Mommy who has it all down, but really I'm just a Mommy who just desires to be in God's will and be the Mommy He planned me to be. This means making mistakes and having really bad days, because it's on those days that I learn to stop relying on myself, but on Him. So... How do I do it? Only by God's grace and strength. REALLY. Keeping my eye on the prize.

18 comments:

Marilyn said...

Congratulations on the new little cupcake in the oven!! You, Sweetheart, are a very blessed woman but I know you already know that!!
Love,
Marilyn
xxoo

Kathi said...

I loved your honesty about your Firstborn. I don't know how many of my readers know this, but we have a similar story. Maybe one day, I will get the courage to tell it, and maybe bless/help someone in the process. Thank you for sharing.

And...CONGRATULATIONS!!!

~Kathi

Lori said...

Congratulations to you and your family! I know you have the love and joy in your heart! Lori

GapGirl said...

=)))))))))))

passion4pink said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!
my husband was sitting beside me when I read out your news of having your 8th child. I burst out crying and he had to leave the room in tears. These were tears of joy for you all!! congratulations!!
cheers
Vicki

blessedmomto8 said...

HOW AWESOME about #8! You are now even with me LOL! Hugs!

Anonymous said...

I haven't been following your blog for very long, but wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and your husband's conviction on letting God choose your family size. It's so nice to know that there are other couples who feel the same way we do.

What a blessing to be carrying a precious little life again! Congratulations!

We're kind of partial to our little house and ABeka curriculum too :o)

~Diane
in Iowa

Kelly said...

Congratulations on the new babe on the way! I am 13 weeks along with my 2nd child and always laugh about how everyone nowadays assumes that we will be "done" after baby #2. I want at least 4 kids and I admire the great job you & your hubs seem to be doing with your kiddos!

Kelly

thechattymommy said...

So awesome! Congratulations on the new baby! I can't believe all the "blogger babies"! How exciting! I love Ruby with the bow!
I love everything you said about your husband! I agree with you about not being the father/husband/leader of the home thing without having Jesus.
I don't talk about it much, but the husband is not saved. I see God doing a work in him, but I want so badly for him to experience what God truly has in store for him. I hold on to the words of the bible and Debi Pearl's Created to Be His Help Meet! God is so good!
You and your family have been a real inspiration to me.
Thanks for all the answers! I am sure I have more!

Sarah said...

Congratulations to you and your beautiful family...a wonderful new baby! How exciting!
I love these questions and answers sessions...a little peek into the life of a wonderful mother.

Amy said...

Congratulations on expecting #8! Wonderful news! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy! :)

kay said...

So happy for you!!! I always wanted a large family but wasn't able to.

The Mama said...

A NEW BABY....what wonderful news to read! Just thrilled for you and your beautiful family!

Thanks for sharing so much of your heart with your "answers". Know that God is working through you and this blog! It is a blessing!

~Fullhousemama

Rose ~Victorian Rose ~ said...

All of the following is JMOPO.....
I was one of five children...of parents who could not even afford 2 kids....and it was not a lot of fun being the poorest family in our neighborhood.
No vacations, no nice clothes to wear to school..I had to wear my brothers hand me down shoes...my sisters ( TOO large hand me down clothes )....the beat goes on.
All our friends and neighbors were only 1 of two chidlren or 2 of 3 at the most..and they had lots of toys and a bike and rollers skates, NEW shoes and clothes when needed...etc..which we 3 younger children NEVER did.
To be perfectly honest, I always felt cheated..my parents were tired, cranky, and did not have time for all our needs and our FAIR share of their attention.
Being number 4 of 5...I needed more attention than most I am guessing.
The baby ALWAYS gets the most attention it seems, BUT my mother was pregnant again when I was only 9 months old..SO I never remember any extra special attention as "the baby".

My REAL QUESTION would simply be this...if something happend to YOU ( mother) WHO would raise all those children the WAY you would want them to be raised ?

I use to have nigtmares about that when I was young..as all my grandparents were much older and not always in the best of health..and could not afford to raise all of us either.
In fact, 2 of my grandparents lived WITH us.....well, more accurately ..it was THEIR HOUSE...WE LIVE WITH THEM !!! ...it was a houseful to say the least.

JMOPO again.... THIS DAY AND AGE.. a child NEEDS at LEAST a College education to compete in this world.
Even Community College is nowhere near free.


Mother of three, grandmother of 3.
Respectfully, Rose

Rose ~Victorian Rose ~ said...

Dear Sweet Mother of almost 8. Please feel free to delete my post if you wish....as I said, it is just my own personal opinion and personal experiences I was experssing here.
You have beautiful children, and a loving family environment... ...and I wish you the very, very best in the choices you are making for your family.

And I TRULY did not mean to offend you.
Sincerely,
Rose

Lisa said...

Congratulations!!! What a blessing :)

Jerelene said...

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you and your family...another cupcake!! :):)
I personally wish that I could have had more...but we didn't...
I love that you are allowing God to lead you in the path he chooses for you.....Blessings to you:):)
Congrats, Congrats!!
Hugs...Jerelene

Marla said...

Congratulations,how wonderful!I am a mother of five,and feel exactly as you.Enjoy every pregnancy!Was a little sad this month,thought I might be pregnant.So wonderful to hear you say,exactly what I feel.Each child is a true blessing!Love your blog!Marla