Friday, April 28, 2017

parker.


My boy is 17 years old today.  
The trailblazer, the oldest of 11. 
Parker is one who is always willing to lend a helping hand.  
Shows kindness to those who others ignore or don't see. 
His heart is compassionate and genuine. 
He never runs form hard work and know when to dig down deep. 
A lover of outdoors, animals, football, family and Jesus. 
He is someone who really cares about others. 
Isn't afraid to share the gospel. A leader. Loyal. Sincere. 
And has a lot of good old fashion values and beliefs. 
Happy Birthday Parker!
 I'm blessed to be your Mom!

Monday, April 17, 2017

Lincoln.


My Lincoln James.
Today he's 9 years old.
Happy Birthday to the boy with a big heart and a big smile.
I remember the day you were born as if it just happened.
Absolutely one of the most perfect births I could ever have.
You were so darn adorable. And you still are!
Loyal, kind and true.
To know you is to know a real friend.
Pearl's Irish twin (both 9 years old for the next two weeks).
Happy Birthday Lincoln!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

river.


My wookie, fuzzy, wuzzy, hobbit River turned 5 last Friday.
I love this little cutie!
Sweetest heart.
Kind all the way through. 
I'm blessed to be his Mama.
I love you to heaven and back.
He wanted to go to Panda with Chris and me for his "birthday lunch'.
Next: birthday shopping.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

jace.


Happy 2nd birthday Jace.
I couldn't imagine life without Jace.
Really!
I love him for the way he has to snuggle super close against me to sleep.
I love how he hugs his siblings when they wake up.
I love how he runs to get his shoes when someone is leaving the house.
I love how he wakes up super early when he hears Chris to spend extra time with Daddy.
I love how he always perches himself on the kitchen counter to watch whoever is cooking.
I love his special affection for Charlie who's his partner.
I love that he needs his Mama always.
I love when he signs (ASL) and wants me to test what he knows.
I love how he always wants me to read his two favorite books.
I love his sweetness and contagious love.
God knew I needed Jace after a miscarriage and before the loss of my little Sunday.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Merry Christmas.


As Parker's Coach likes to say: 
"All things considered,
I'll take these guys eight days a week and twice on Sunday."


Sunday, September 18, 2016

sunday's child.


Sweet Tallulah.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

it's me again.


I’m alive and well. 

Much healing on my heart has started and yet, at the same time, it can be torn away all too quickly. The wound becomes reopened and the process starts all over again. 

I’ve stayed in places and with people who make me feel safe since my heart has been so vulnerable. Not a day goes by that my heart doesn’t ache recognizing the hole I have for Sunday. 

Jace has very much been a huge salve for my heart. I am very thankful that he hasn’t outgrown his baby-ness— that he still needs and wants his (hurting) Mama. 

I will admit that I’ve been super busy on a daily basis raising eleven children, homeschooling them and supporting them in all their activities. 

I appreciate the fact that their needs occupy both my mind and a lot of my time, since I am the type of person who has the tendency to dwell in the hurt letting the sadness overtake me. And when those moments do come, I realize that it’s ok, that it’s part of the scar which begins to heal over the brokenness. 

All of that to say: I need to start writing here again. For my children. To record our life. Our memories. Our days. 

After I delivered Sunday, I had so much pouring out of my heart and I wanted to write down each thought, each feeling, each memory of her. But I didn’t. It was too hard to turn the computer on and write. I was too weary and broken. Damaged. But I am finding God all over again and in a new way. An even more personal way. 

So here I am, ready to share my family, my life and our days again. And maybe I’ll find the strength to share about my daughter who I lost while I was 5 months pregnant. A daughter I would be holding next month if she hadn’t passed away. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

summer vacation.


Chris made me go on a family vacation {against my will}. Something we already had planned for almost a year. So thankful for a husband who knows best. Loving the time with my tenacious man, my fun kiddos and very hot weather.

Monday, July 4, 2016

2016 Fourth of July.



Today I'm very thankful for my family. For our country. I'm thankful for those who selflessly give their lives and future for us to be free. I'm thankful for my faith, for my faith is my anchor. I'm thankful for my children. For both those here on earth and those already in heaven, I am so blessed. I'm thankful for my husband. Someone I only dreamt existed. I'm thankful for grace, for it's more than I could ever deserve. I'm thankful for sunshine. Back porches. Flower gardens. Green grass. I'm thankful for all my little baby animals. They also help my healing heart. I'm thankful for friends and strangers who care about my hurting mommy heart. I'm thankful for kind words. Today I'm thankful.

Sunday, July 3, 2016