just a mad mommy.

I got really mad the other day. Really mad. You know when the
Bible talks about a meek and quiet spirit? I didn't have it.
I was the total opposite. At one of my oldest son's baseball
games, I was standing by the dug-out and overheard some of the
boys talking. Not my son, but the others. It made me uncomfortable.
After the game, I had one of those chats with my boy. You know--
the kind that search his heart. My questions were leading and
probing. I wanted to know what goes on with his teammates.

Let me back up here. Parker is new to baseball and new to his
team. He has been a leader and one of the best players on the
basketball and football team for the same coach and same league
since 3rd grade. Over there, everyone knows he's a christian and
preachers son. They respect it. And seem to gravitate towards him.

Now with baseball, Parker is the new kid and one of the youngest
on a team of 10,11 & 12 year old boys. He's athletic and smart so
he's catching on great and has potential. But that doesn't always
help when most of the kids already know each other and have had
years of playing baseball. He's not a bad player, he's actually pretty
good and getting better.

But after hearing how they can swear up a storm, talk trash and
kinda don't include him, I'm not happy about it. And to top it all
off, the two most rejected kids on the team tried picking on Parker
in an attempt to look cool in front of the other kids. That's what
really got me feeling like a Mama Bear ready to unleash. I don't
know what creates this internal urge to protect your young, but
I got it and it is intense.

My kids are home schooled and sheltered for a good many reasons.
I see them as plants not ready to support itself outside. Plants that
need protection until their roots and leaves are strong enough to
protect them. My plants, that is, my children are not there yet. This
is an analogy I got from the Bates family [the Duggar's friends]. Don't
get me wrong-- we aren't oblivious to the outside world. Our children
see unsaved people come through our doors at church. They know
what the world looks like through people and outside our walls. But
yet there is still so much garbage they don't know--and I don't want
them to know at this point. Some things they may never
have to experience.

I want my children to be pure, immature, naive....just children.
Not having to carry some of the knowledge and dirt that some
kids have been exposed to. Which I think is unfair to children.

My solution last night...was to take him off the team...which, after
sleeping on it, is the wrong choice. But I can't tell you how crazy I
got inside wanting to protect my child from the things of the world.

Just call me a Mommy. But I think the only real and best solution is
to keep that open communication with Parker, for my husband to
be more involved in Parker's team (even if it means sacrificing in
some other areas), and prayer.

My God is big enough!