Friday, June 10, 2011

mommy, attention & being prickly.

When I think about the times I've had a prickly attitude, I come to the realization that it's because I need attention. That would be-- Attention from my husband. Looking at it from the outside, I think, "what a stinky way to get it". From a logical standpoint, this clearly would be counterproductive; It would actually work the opposite.

But while I was in my 'thinking closet' (aka the shower), the place where I can think clearly with no distractions, I realized, using my Mommy senses, that while being a Mommy, you are 'needed' in a lot of areas and in several directions at the same time. This can be a lot of work.

Even to the point of feeling like you're playing that whack-a-mole game at chuck e. cheese with my kids and all the problems of the day being the moles. The faster I whack them, the quicker another one pops up, with seemingly no end in sight. You know what I mean-- you put out one 'fire' only to have another one emerge as so-and-so is screaming because someone took their toy and this one over here has just painted the wall with spaghetti hands and then...

We all have those days. To say I don't would be a lie. And if I have a lot of those days one after the other, I just might find myself throwing my own fit. Not on a regular basis, but enough. On top of that, throw in some other responsibilities pulling on me and that might be enough to push me over the edge.

I need attention, I need a little coddling sometimes, I need a moment where it's just about me. Maybe it's childish, but as a pastor's wife, a wife, a daughter and a mommy, I sometimes find myself pushing my husband away just to bring him closer. Blame it on all my junk that I collected while not being saved the first 25 years of my life, but sometimes I feel drained.

I will never get what I give in this world, but does that matter? One day I will receive my inheritance from God. The reason I do what I do.


Kim said...

OH I hear you! I feel that way sometimes too, like, even 10 minutes where it's all about me would be really nice. I don't think it's selfish, most Moms who feel that way really really do devote all of their time to their husbands and families, so I think, once in a while, it's perfectly fine to say "ME!" (of course this is what I have to say if I want to shower in peace for longer than 2.5 minutes!)

Marla Grace said...

Wow, seems as though we are on the same page. Same going on here. Too funny! You worded perfectly, we push away to pull them back! As Mommy's and wives we give so much. Sometimes we are going on empty. Thank God he himself lifts us back up! Just wrote about this this morning. Lol, blessings

Theresa said...

I collected a lot of junk the first 23 years of my life. Praise God for saving me and putting me on a new path-one of serving and glorifying Him!
I agree sometimes us mommies just need some extra attention :)