Wednesday, April 13, 2011

my thoughts.

(Picture from Christmas 2009)

When you're told that your Dad only has a few weeks left to live, do you grieve and let the sadness overtake you or do you focus on heaven and the pain that they will be free from? Do you let what will soon be lost become larger in your heart and mind or remain focused on the blessed hope that you will see them again? Do you ignore the current state of their unrelenting pain or remind yourself of the pain they will finally be free from? How do you let go while remaining unwilling to give up? How do you comfort your Mom who has to handle a situation unspeakably worse than your own, yet still be able to deal with the pain you feel? He may be my Dad, but he's her husband of 44 years.

I seem to see heaven differently now that I will have a parent there. Not a relative or grandparent, but someone who has left one of the largest imprints on my life....my Dad. It's hard to explain, but it's like my eyes have been opened to what heaven REALLY means. Something I couldn't describe, but am thankful for. My heart is swollen with sadness, and still I struggle to be strong for my Mom and my children. One day they will experience losing me and my husband and I want to walk them through this in a balanced way. They are learning about loss and grieving. They are watching their Mommy lose her Daddy. They will react to how I respond to this time of my life. I will keep my eyes on Jesus. The One who my Dad will be taken home to. But not until God says it's time.

9 comments:

true blessings said...

I know you are going through a tough time,and I want you to know that our church there are a lot of testimonies from people who have been told what your father has been told,but years later are still there.God still has the last word.We all have our time of dying,but if God wants ,He is the Almighty God,whom we can delare total healing from.God bless you~

GiGi said...

Oh Wendy, I will keep your family in prayer as you go thru this tough time. I can't imagine how hard it must be for ALL of you..

I know your dad has been fighting for a while.May Gods peace and grace be poured out on all of you....

Xoxo{hugs}

Marilyn said...

You are a spiritually well balanced young woman even if you think you are not. I have lost both my parents & while at the time I felt I could not go through it...I did. Now years down the road I am comforted with the thought that they are there waiting for me.
Life is good.... Life is a gift.... We are not privileged to know why some go before we are ready.
You will do fine....trust me. Just love your parents & love your children. That is really all anyone needs.
My prayers are with all of you...
Love, Marilyn

the bennetts said...

hey- i think i've commented once. but i just wanted you to know that many are walking this path with you. i just lost my mom on Valentine's Day. my brother, sister and i were with her around the clock when she was very suddenly moved to hospice. it was the most difficult, painful and yet... most beautiful 10 days i've ever experienced. i dealt with the exact emotions you mentioned- the letting go but not wanting to give up, and all the rest. i never wanted to let go, but now that she's in Heaven I wouldn't take her back.... it's strange and i can't explain it. i miss her like crazy.

anyway. i'll be praying for you. i'm so sorry you lost your daddy. a verse that my dad shared with me while my mom was in hospice is John 14:18. it was Jesus talking to His disciples. "I will not leave you comfortless." ... and the word "comfortless" can be translated in the original greek to "motherless or fatherless; without a parent." So- for you, Jesus says, "I will not leave you fatherless." He will comfort you in the very way your daddy would if he was still here.

Mrs.Rabe said...

Praying Wendy.

God will give you wisdom to share your sadness and yet to teach about those things which are yet to come in heaven.

DONNA BOGIE said...

So very sorry to hear of this, I too had to go through this very same thing. My faith is not nearly as strong as yours and i really wish that it were, i know it would have made an un bearable situtation alittle eaiser.
God Bless your family.

Marla Grace said...

Hugs!

Amy Jay said...

Praying for you and your whole family.....

Meredith said...

Very sorry to hear about your loss... but your words are encouraging and so are your children. God bless you.