easter?

With my Dad's passing, I have to be honest and tell you that no one was overly excited about celebrating Easter. Only four days after the day my Dad passed away, we decided it must be done for the kids. We went over to my Mom's and did the best we could to keep our chins up. The kids were more than excited to spend a day with their cousins. We even had a jolly jump to keep the kids from going wild inside on a day that had plenty of sunshine. Our first holiday without my Dad.

This Friday will be my 37th birthday. Without having lost someone close to me until now, I could have never understood what someone else was experiencing in that type of situation. But now I understand first hand and even though the joy of them in heaven should be my focus, it doesn't take away the grieving you go through because of the loss of the relationship I once enjoyed. This Friday, my Mom wants to take me out to my favorite restaurant for dinner on my birthday because that's what my Dad always did. It's strange how badly I want him to be here, yet I understand that the pain he was in was far worse than the pain my heart now feels.