too much.

Lately I have been feeling a little stretched. This all started to take place before I discovered we would be welcoming a new baby next Spring.

I was wondering why I was feeling so discouraged, drained and losing momentum. It wasn't my children. It wasn't my husband. It wasn't my home. It was all the other things I was pouring my efforts into. The things that are extra. Even the children's church schedule and curriculum were making me feel uninterested.

I wondered why God was putting so much on my plate. More than I could possibly handle. To the point where I felt that my joy was draining from me like a bucket with a whole in the bottom. I began to think that maybe God didn't design me to be doing 'all this'. Maybe, I was taking on too much in a self-serving way. Perhaps I was operating under the assumption that I could do it. Perhaps it was presumptuous...

But one thing I do know is this: God designed me to trust Him with my family size. I know this. Even though I occasionally yearn for quiet moments, there's nothing I love more than having this bundle of children that God has blessed me with. My purpose, design and calling are to be my husband's wife, my children's mother and the keeper of the home. Anything that takes away from these important things is not worth the stealing of my purpose. I know that there will be times where I must stop anything that comes after my real calling, and focus back on what I know God has designed me to be. Wife, Mother, Keeper of the Home.