Thursday, February 23, 2012

a mommy of many children.

There's this tendency that others seem to have when talking to me about my family and how many children I have--

They have this 'poor Wendy' look and a pity filled tone in their voice saying, 'your days must be so difficult'.

Some even inspect me with a puzzled look of 'how do you do it?' It's not in my head. I know this to be true because of the comments that follow that look.

Comments like: Do you get anytime away? You must be exhausted-- How do you do it? Do you have any help? Oh Wendy! Who watches the kids for you? Oh wow! You homeschool too... And so many more I could go on about.

The fact is: my life is not chaotic at all. People don't seem to realize that important point even when I try to explain it.

Yes, I go to bed many nights exhausted, but I believe any one who works or has any number of children feels that way on some evenings.

And I don't have this lingering, unfulfilled desire to get away from my own kids even if it's just to run to the supermarket. It just doesn't exist for me.

I want to be around my kids. I love watching and being part of their days. I don't feel short changed because I'm with them all day. I feel blessed.

I have a routine and my children know the routine. I think that many individuals don't realize that having a large family actually keeps the kids engaged in activities with each other all parts of the day.

There isn't this constant issue of them being in Mommy's hair.

And how do I do it? Just like anyone else would do it with 8 children; I just keep moving trying to stay on top of things, and most importantly, I rely on God's help.

So before you feel sorry for me, thinking I'm trapped in my home caring for babies in diapers and all these needy little children, think again.

I am a blessed Mommy with an abundance of children.

I want to be around my children, caring for my home and loving my husband.

I am doing it with a heart of thankfulness.



Kelly said...

YES! This is fantastic! If feel the same way with my two kids (hopefully more to come) - I love spending my days with them and don't at all wish for "time away". Parenting kids is the BEST!

Katie said...

I'm with Kelly! I only have 2 right now and very rarely leave them to 'get away'. When I do, it's nice, but after an hour or two, I want them back! I have tough days (what mother doesn't!?), but most days are full of fun (even with whining, etc) because it's what God made me to do and He gets me through the days. :) Love your blog!

Leanne said...


This was a beautiful post.

I feel absolutely the same way. And I get absolutely the same comments and looks. I absolutely cannot be away from my kids for very long before I start to miss them! And that's the way it's supposed to be.

I also liked the post "C+W". It was sweet and so wonderful to see you affirming and strengthening your husband by believing in him!!

Thanks for your great posts!

thechattymommy said...

I love what you wrote.
It is funny the other day I saw a busy mom with 2 little ones and a whole lot of stuff. I wanted to help her immediately and she didn't need my help. She had her system and it was working for her.
I realized people do that when they see me. Especially other moms. I think that we all know what it is like.
So I imagine if I want to help the mom with 2 kids, I am going to want to help you even more. But I would find out the same thing- you've got it under control!
Great job- you're children and husband are blessed to have you!

Chelsea said...

You nailed it on the head- I have no desire to get away from my kids either! A break now and then is nice of course, but I don't suffer through the rest of the time until I can get away again. When people realize we're expecting #4 I get all sorts of comments.

The funny thing is- the more kids we have, the more God refines me...and makes me rely on Him...and makes me appreciate my family...especially my husband...and makes my kids less dependent on me because they have that many more playmates. I see it as a win-win!

Jeanette said...

Agreed! I only have four kiddos but still get the same range of "concerned" comments from strangers and unfortunately sometimes well-meaning friends. My biggest concern is that when the kids hear the comments, they might think that they are a burden or a chore to me. So I always make sure to let the commenter know how blessed I am. You know the typical "Wow, you've got your hands full!" I just say "Yes, they are, but my heart is full too, and I couldn't be more blessed." :)
Every other Friday night my inlaws take the older three for the night so it's just us and the baby. I will fully admit that it is nice to have some quiet time but come Saturday morning, I am ready for them to come back! :)

Jessica said...

I love this. I started hearing the comments when I was pregnant with number 4 and I'm now expecting our 5th (6th including my step daughter). There's a tug on my heart to put all these comments together in one place and share the responses we wish we could say, the loving ones of course ;) My last post was actually a response to the statement "That's not natural" when said towards families of lots of children. I love my children, and I'll love as many more as God sees fit to give me. God Bless you and your views on His blessings.

A Romantic Porch said...

I just love reading of your love for your family. The things you say remind me so much of my mother. I know I've told you that before. Just today I was thinking that I am so blessed that my parents gave me life as #10 in their family. God has only allowed us to raise 3 children. I stand in their rooms as they sleep and thank HIM that he at least saw fit to bless us with these 3 precious ones. I'm so so thankful he allowed us to have at least 3. WE wanted many more but I thank him for his blessings.

April Lou said...

Awesome! Children are wonderful. Sometimes I do feel overwhelmed with two kids, but I think it is a learning process. I love being with them. I only have two, but I don't think any child is a burden. I bet people do say things to you! I get strange comments when I say I want to have a third.

Shelby said...

Love it! I get those same comments all the time! An occasional trip to the grocery store without children is nice but it's not something that is the end all and be all for me. I most often take a kid or two with me for company. :) I love spending time with my large family. Yes, I too fall into bed exhausted but I always feel surrounded by love.

Amanda Rooney said...

Came over from Kelly's Korner. I love that you enjoy your children so much! I have four - but feel the same. It is such a privilege and gift to be with them everyday!!

Frugal Jen said...

What a beautiful family! We are at 4 and want more. We get such strong comments with 4 I know with 8 it's much worse. We love our family and hope to add more.

What an inspiration you are!

Courtney said...

"...a heart of thankfulness." Very well said! I SO wish others could understand that! The "kids are such burdens" mindset is so frustrating. You've been truly blessed!

nancygrayce said...

You are blessed and your children are blessed to call you mama!

Debra said...

Nice post! It makes me sad to hear moms say they 'need' to get away from their kids alot. I only have one child but we would have liked more - my husband is one of 13 so he didn't want to do that but 2 or 3 more would have been nice - it just wasn't meant to be. I love taking my daughter and her friends to girl scouts- there are 7 of them in the car most of the time- love the sounds from the back seat. I love when school is out and she is home and has friends over. :)