written by my husband: a man worthy of honor

written for our church newsletter in honor of Father's Day...

Worthy of Honor

I know what the commandment says: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” And I am aware of my duty as a son-- as a Christian, to honor my own father. The connotation is to obey and respect one’s father in his God given role as parent and spiritual leader-- but it's not a blank check issued to guarantee the obedience of a child in all matters at all times. For example, a daughter should never ‘honor’ her father’s demand that she get an abortion. Neither should a grown adult child feel they must ‘honor’ their parent’s desire for them to choose a particular career path- they may choose what they want to do with their lives, where to live and how to raise their own children. “I only did what my daddy told me to” will not be a valid argument when standing before God. At some point, every child must become responsible for his or her actions, and for following the will of God for their lives. In our day and age, it seems we have forgotten why fatherhood is to be honored.

Rather than a contrived semi-holiday called Father’s Day, which fills a slot in the commercial calendar between the Easter Bunny and the Fourth of July, I am more concerned with whether fathers are actually worthy of honor or are they just satisfied with a card from the kids and a special Sunday brunch out of obligation-- usually coordinated by mom. Are today’s fathers owed honor-- are they entitled to it? Or would the Word of God demand that men who are fathers live lives worthy of the privilege of fatherhood?

Should we honor father’s who won’t marry their children’s mothers? Should we honor men who spend more time watching a ballgame on one weekend than they’ll spend in actual conversation with their son or daughter over an entire month? Should children honor their father for modeling worldly behavior and profane living, ultimately leading them away from the things of God and putting their eternal destiny in jeopardy? I think we get the picture.

A dad who’s not on drugs; who doesn’t spend nearly every evening at work or sitting on the couch with his pal, Bud, in one hand and the tv remote in the other; who is still married and loves his wife and mother of his children; who goes to church not out of obligation, but because he wants to; who actually spends time with his children learning who they are and shaping who’ll they’ll be-- helping with homework, taking them to practice, coaching their team, or even teaching their Sunday school class; who prays to his Heavenly Father for their salvation; who understands the gift of fatherhood and believes that fathers should earn the honor given to them by living honorably-- These are the men we should Honor as fathers not just one day a year, but continuously, since they point their lives and guide their children heavenward into a real relationship with their Eternal Father.